Ernelle’s Cancer Journey
Discover one brave survivor’s journey through throat cancer, surgery and radiation therapy. Learn valuable insights and tips for staying positive!
30 Stories in 30 Days™ // April 2023
One evening, I put my daily cholesterol pill in my mouth, but I couldn’t swallow it. Usually my pill went down pretty easily, but this time it wouldn’t go down. I had never had to push my pill down my throat before. When I used a flashlight to look inside my mouth, I could tell something was blocking the back of my throat. I had an issue with my tonsils back in 1985, when they became swollen and painful, but I never got my tonsils removed. I thought maybe this time they were just acting up again, and that I needed them taken out after all. But I had no pain, discomfort, or anything like I did back then. My only symptom was difficulty swallowing this pill.
I went to see my primary care physician, who told me to make an appointment with my ENT. Since he worked primarily on ears, the ENT referred me to another physician who specializes in throat cancer. That specialist took a biopsy from my throat. Afterwards, he didn’t want me to swallow hard foods for a few hours, because he said it might be uncomfortable after the biopsy, and he instructed me to take liquid Tylenol in case of pain.
The biopsy results came back with evidence of cancer. The first I heard of it was from my primary care doctor, and I found it a little strange that the physician who took the biopsy or the ENT didn’t call me first. I eventually spoke with the throat specialist, and he apologized for not calling me sooner. He told me that given the location of my cancer, he wanted to present the case to a medical advisory board to determine the best course of action. A million thoughts were running through my head, but I tried to stay calm—it was a lot to take in at once.
I tried to take it day by day and think to myself, not in terms of ‘If I get up,’ but ‘When I get up, I will take care of business…’
After meeting with the board the following week, the physician let me know that the board recommended surgery. I went back to the doctor to talk about it face to face, and he told me what to expect. I knew it had to be done, so I just went into it with that mindset. I took my treatment in stride, went through with the surgery, and didn’t let it get me down.
The hardest part of my whole journey wasn’t the buildup to surgery. Instead, it was when I opened my eyes after waking up from anesthesia. I was flooded with worries about what lie ahead. I tried to take it day by day and think to myself, not in terms of “If I get up,” but “When I get up, I will take care of business, do my radiation, and so on.”
I left the hospital sooner than expected, with a drain in place, which I had to change a few times a day, to eliminate any excess fluid buildup from the surgery. I then underwent radiation therapy for 30 days, 5 days a week. It took me a while to get used to it, and my first day I had a total meltdown. It was really scary for me to wear the mask during radiation therapy and be strapped to the table unable to move.
The radiation therapy team at my hospital was amazing—they walked me through it, keeping me calm and encouraging me to take deep breaths. They told me the first day is always the longest, because they have to get everything fitted appropriately. They were extremely patient and empathetic with me, reassuring me that it gets better as the days go on.
The second day, I was still a little jittery, so they put some music on, which definitely helped. On the third day, they put on my favorite Michael Jackson song, and before I knew it, the treatment session was over. It went by so much faster than I expected. After that, the treatment sessions became much easier. I got through it by closing my eyes, trying to breathe, and distract myself with the music.
Experiencing dry mouth—a side effect of radiation—was difficult, but I got through it. As the days went on, the fatigue set in. It was getting harder to get onto the bus to get to my treatment. I took deep breaths and took my time getting on and off the bus during my commute to the hospital. After that month was finished, I was so happy to be done with my radiation treatment.
My advice is to focus on today and worry about tomorrow—tomorrow. Don’t worry about next month, or get too ahead of yourself.
I was on an all-liquid diet for several months after radiation therapy, which caused me to lose a bunch of weight. I went into the hospital at 156 lbs and later dropped to around 109 lbs. Working with a speech-language pathologist, I re-learned to swallow by doing my assigned exercises with calorie-rich liquids.
I eventually reached the point where I could eat solid foods. I still couldn’t eat pizza (which I craved so much!), burgers, meat, or my famous home-made lasagna, and these were hard for me to live without! I also couldn’t eat bagels or bread because they were too thick. I later learned that white bread went down smoother than wheat bread (which I had been eating) and that fatty soft foods go down more easily. I lost my permanent ability to taste sweet foods, and foods that I once enjoyed, like grapes or watermelon, started to taste bland. But I tried to push past this and eat sweet foods that I know I need for my nutrition, even though they tasted bad. I stayed positive and focused on what I could taste —salty foods—and was motivated by the thought of trying new foods every day—progressing from Ensure to Ramen. I started drinking much more water, as I never drank enough before my journey with cancer.
Here I am almost a year later, and I’ve come a long way. The doctors are amazed at my progress, and I’m very happy they’re pleased, because it means things are going well. My support system is amazing—I have a few close friends who brought me food throughout my treatment, which was so nice of them. Slowly but surely, my ability to eat is returning closer to normal—while it’s still hard to swallow some foods, cutting them up into small pieces helps. My appetite is strong as ever; I’m always hungry! I’ve always loved to walk, and am trying to stay physically active. I now find that if I go more than two blocks, my body starts to hurt, but I try to take it day by day and a little at a time.
The other day, a woman asked me about my experience with radiation, and after hearing this was my second cancer, she exclaimed “Wow, but you sound so up?!” I told her I keep myself upbeat and never feel sorry for myself, because feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t change the diagnosis. I told her I got through it by taking things one thing at a time, step by step.
Talk to people who have been through cancer treatment if you know anyone, and if not, there are amazing support groups available.
My advice is to focus on today and worry about tomorrow—tomorrow. Don’t worry about next month or get too ahead of yourself. Keep a positive attitude, because I strongly believe that is how your body heals quicker. And make sure you have support! Talk to people who have been through cancer treatment if you know anyone, and if not, there are amazing support groups available. I personally didn’t feel like I needed to join those groups, because I felt so supported by my friends and family, but they have been a great resource to friends of mine.
Do what the doctors and your care team suggest. I understand that sometimes it’s hard to do what they suggest, but just trust and believe. And work with your care team to adapt the exercises to what makes sense for you—there are several ways to accomplish the same goals. Take your time, and don’t rush, because rushing invites mistakes. You don’t want to do something that jeopardizes your health even further.
Ultimately, just have faith—I’m not an avid church-goer, but when there’s something beyond my control, there’s nothing else I can do but leave it in God’s hands. I can’t possibly know what life has in store for me, and I can’t even begin to understand why people go through these things. But, He has His reasons, and questioning them doesn’t help. I’m grateful to have survived both of my cancers and to have such amazing doctors that I can trust.
Interested in Sharing Your Cancer Journey?
For someone recently diagnosed with cancer, reading the stories of other caregivers and survivors can inspire.
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