Brenda’s Cancer Journey
Discover Brenda’s inspiring journey through tongue cancer and how her smile shines brighter than ever. Read her story of hope and resilience!
Brenda // 30 Stories Campaign™ // Oral Cancer Awareness
Before I received my diagnosis for a rare type of tongue cancer (Stage 3), I took a lot of pride in my eloquence of speech. As a non-native English speaker, I always got compliments for how well I spoke. I communicated excellently with clear English. That changed after my treatment. Surgery—followed by chemotherapy and radiation treatment—adversely affected the way I talked.
I went through a flood of emotions after losing the ability to speak well. I felt ashamed. I kept away from people and barely spoke unless absolutely necessary. I struggled with this feeling of inadequacy for many months, but with continued therapy, encouragement and prayer, my speech gradually improved. I had to re-learn to speak through speech therapy. Accepting this as a journey that I must trek through marked a turning point for me.
I realized that my speech may never return… In the midst of this realization, I leaned on a deep understanding and belief that … how I speak does not define me.
I realized that my speech may never return, or at the very least could take a long while for me to get it back. In the midst of this realization, I leaned on a deep understanding and belief that my eloquence, or how I speak, does not define me. My value comes from so much more, and I still have so much to offer my family, friends and colleagues.
I don’t speak much anymore. But when I get to speak, I have found that this gives me time to practice mindfulness of the things I say and how I say them. It makes the words coming out of me precious.
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With a very serious tone he looked at me and said, ‘I have a question for you Brenda.’ …He wondered, ‘How come you still have an amazing smile?’ Those words have never left me.
As one can imagine, my journey with cancer had ups and downs. However, I can immediately recall a moment where I felt strong. During a regular visit with the doctor, I had scheduled to remove the feeding tube that served as my lifeline for some months. I felt nervous but glad that the tube was finally coming out. After removing the tube, the doctor sat in his usual spot.
With a very serious tone he looked at me and said, “I have a question for you Brenda.” At that point I was not sure what he would ask. He wondered, “How come you still have an amazing smile?”
Those words have never left me. It was as if the Lord affirmed me and said, “you are beautiful, you matter, and you will be okay.” For a minute, I forgot how tired and anxious I felt just a few minutes prior.
Moments like that have made the heavy times lighter. Like when I couldn’t eat and speak, or when I had to depend on my family and close friends to feed me using the feeding tube, or when I needed them to bathe me, or when I could only communicate through writing. These experiences humbled me. It made me appreciate the things that I used to take for granted like chewing and swallowing food.
Sometimes I question why I had to get cancer. Sometimes I feel frustrated when I still struggle to speak and eat… I take each minute, each day at a time.
Everything in my life I consider a miracle—everything. I count my blessings everyday—my dear husband, my children, my close friends and colleagues, and my pastors. I think of the sacrifices they made for me and keep making, the prayers made on my behalf—I know I am richly blessed.
Sometimes I question why I had to get cancer. Sometimes I feel frustrated when I still struggle to speak and eat. It has certainly not felt easy to live through all these changes. Some days are certainly good. Other days, not so much. I take each minute, each day at a time. I cry when I feel low, but I try to stay positive. I lean on the Lord to strengthen me everyday, and when those questions flood my heart, I ask Him to heal my heart. Things certainly have not stayed the same for me, but they can only get better with each morning I get to wake up and see a new day.
The good Lord remains my source and hope. I am alive today because I feel that God has preserved me. My husband and my children give me the strength and the will to wake up and stay strong. I look at them and see every reason why I must stay strong and alive. My medical support team has stayed with me through the most difficult time of my life. I think of their commitment to make me well and I know I must work hard to get better.
Even now, I know the journey forward presents challenges. Dealing with cancer drains you physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. But throughout all these troubles, I encouraged myself and others to show grace and inward kindness. Cry if you have to. Accept all the help you can get from family and friends. And above all, don’t live for tomorrow, as it will take away all the energy and joy from today. Live each day as it comes and allow yourself to heal through it all.
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