Eugene’s Cancer Journey

Eugene // 30 Stories Campaign™ // Oral Cancer Awareness

In the summer of 2023, I noticed that I had a sore on the underside of my tongue. I thought I may have bitten it in my sleep. Over the course of the next few weeks, the sore did not go away, and it started to hurt. I decided to wait a few weeks to investigate the sore during my scheduled annual physical. 

By the time of my checkup, the sore had persisted for perhaps two months. My general practitioner recommended I see an ENT, which I did about two weeks later. By this time, I was starting to get concerned that the sore on my tongue could be more than the result of a bite. However, even with that in the back of my mind, I was shocked when the ENT told me she wanted to take a biopsy. My wife, Marisa, was convinced that it was nothing because it appeared to be healing. When we got that call, my wife was shocked, but I wasn’t because I could feel the pain. I had squamous cell carcinoma.

The process of seeking a specialist began. Marisa had done some research and made the appointments. By the end of that day, we had appointments set for three different specialists over the next couple of weeks. At the time, this process of choosing a surgeon seemed to take months, even though it was only just two weeks. I felt powerless and vulnerable for that entire time—between the biopsy up to the second visit with the specialist that I chose as my surgeon.

The importance of having my wife and children around for the decision-making process brought us all that much closer.

After meeting with all three specialists, it was a real challenge to know which way to turn. The breadth and depth of information I had to digest, on top of the diagnosis itself, was overwhelming. My wife and I, and our three adult children took an entire weekend to process everything.We concluded that we needed follow-up visits.

After our weekend of “cramming,” we went into that second visit with what seemed like a long list of questions. The first visit was with the specialist that we initially felt confident with. He was patient and answered every one of our questions, providing my wife and I and our children with a very positive outlook. He explained what we faced and could expect in the weeks and months to come. It was after having this perspective that I felt strong enough to face things. We wound up canceling the follow-up visits with the other surgeons, and I have never regretted that decision.

I had a partial glossectomy and radical neck dissection… the greatest challenge emerged during the third week… of treatment.

During that time, I realized the importance of having my wife and children around for the decision-making process. They provided great input and perspective. Going through this together brought us all that much closer, as if that was even possible.

The surgery was two weeks later. I had a partial glossectomy and radical neck dissection which included the removal of part of my tongue and lymph nodes from my neck respectively. All of the lymph nodes they took out tested negative. However, the type of tumor warranted radiation. My surgeon recommended that I stay overnight, and Marisa stayed with me. I was grateful to have my wife there to help me get through that night.

Radiation treatment began six weeks later. The greatest challenge emerged during the third week of my six weeks of treatment. By then, I was painfully aware that the effects of treatment are cumulative. My tongue and mouth were already covered in very painful sores. On day 12 of treatment, with 18 more to go, I realized the intensity of my ordeal would likely increase, and I started to wonder if I would be able to make it to the end.

…[My wife] devised an incredible diet of super healthy smoothies and purees… She worked tirelessly to provide everything I needed…

Fortunately, the medication prescribed by my radiation oncologist helped me manage the pain. Marisa devised an incredible diet of super healthy smoothies and purees for me. She meticulously set alarms for salt rinses, mouth exercises and medication. Monitoring my water intake, caloric, and protein consumption, she continuously, constantly adjusted my diet based on my response. Marisa also ensured the air in our rooms was humidified and that I had everything necessary for oral hygiene after every meal. She worked tirelessly to provide everything I needed to help with my recovery.

The combination of medical treatment and Marisa’s care somehow gave me the strength to keep at it. The last week of treatment was a real challenge, yet I managed to “ring the bell” with my wife and oldest daughter by my side. It was a great feeling to have made it. 

The two weeks following were probably the worst, the effects of the radiation were at a peak. With the constant encouragement and support of my wife and children, I found the strength to make it through. 

I approach each day with a positive attitude and look forward to a long life with my wife, children, and grandchildren.

I am blessed with an amazing wife. Marisa is my friend, my partner, and my caregiver. Listen to your caregivers, follow their advice and guidance. I made it seem as though I had everything together, from continuing to work out, to going to work. However, on the inside was a very different story. 

I am convinced of a few key things that helped me heal from the effects of radiation. First, I stuck to a very healthy diet (even if in smoothie and pureed form). I also did rinses to heal the sores in my mouth. In addition, I kept properly hydrated and I performed the recommended mouth exercises.

On a day-to-day level, I did a few things to help me get through the worst of my radiation treatments. I started each of those days with scripture, I read other information to gain knowledge, and I spent an hour in the gym. Even though my workouts were not nearly as challenging as they once were, working up a sweat provided an outlet as well as some level of normalcy. From that point, I followed the exact same routine to prepare for treatment.

Cancer made it abundantly clear that I needed to identify my priorities and actively plan my life around them.

When asked about the changes cancer brought to my life, outlook, and priorities, I liken it to a left jab in the jaw. Cancer made it abundantly clear that I needed to identify my priorities and actively plan my life around them. In my case, that meant prioritizing my wife, children and grandchildren.

Our family has always been very close. Yet, I must admit, before my cancer diagnosis, it was easier to let work, house maintenance, and other mundane tasks consume more time than they deserved. We often think we have forever to do everything. Now, although my life still requires that I address these responsibilities, my new outlook has reshaped my priorities. I now know that these tasks will be addressed in their own time, after I’ve devoted as much time as possible to being with my family and cherishing the love we share for one another.

Oddly enough, I feel very grateful about the changes that this disease has brought into my life. The clarity I have about the things I value has brought me a totally new perspective. Without a doubt, my family has made all the difference in the world going through this journey. I am sure that without them, especially Marisa, I would be lost.

My wife took care of everything from appointments, to speaking to the doctors, and more importantly created an environment for me to heal. As the healing began, when I was feeling down, she would remind me of where I was and how much improvement I had made. It’s extremely important to recognize the accomplishments even though they may seem small, and the road ahead still seems quite long.

While the thought of recurrence persists in the back of my mind… I refuse to live in fear.

I have so much gratitude for the love of my family—I can’t imagine trying to travel this journey without them. The care that I received, the love and support provided by my family and my faith in God have brought me through this. I am very blessed. I am grateful for the help of my medical teams and my wife. With their care, I cleared two huge hurdles on my journey with cancer—surgery and radiation treatments.

It has been less than 6 months since my diagnosis and less than 3 months since my last radiation treatment. I am still healing. My sense of taste is returning even though my facial hair has not yet. I still experience the adverse effects of radiation and surgery, some side effects will eventually go away and others, such as lymphedema will remain with me for the rest of my life.

Despite all of that, I feel better physically than I have in a while due to the changes in my diet, sleep and attitude. I am optimistic that my emotional healing will catch up with my physical healing. While the thought of recurrence persists in the back of my mind at this time, I refuse to live in fear. I approach each day with a positive attitude and look forward to a long life with my wife, children, and grandchildren. This experience has made it clear to me what is most important in my life.