Allen’s Cancer Journey
Discover one man’s inspiring journey through cancer with a positive attitude & unwavering determination! Learn how he overcame obstacles & stayed strong.
30 Stories in 30 Days™ // April 2023
Two summers ago, food got caught under my tongue, and I had it cleared out with a laser at my dentist. Afterwards, while on vacation, it started to feel like the spot wasn’t healing. I returned to my dentist, who told me he “doesn’t like how that looks” and referred me to another specialist for a biopsy. The pathology resulted in a diagnosis of squamous cell carcinoma.
I’m thankful that a friend of mine, who is an ear, nose and throat doctor, referred me to a physician in New York City who was absolutely fantastic. At the surgeon’s recommendation, I had 3 teeth taken out, as well as my gums, palate, lymph nodes, and a gland on the left side of my face. Going under anesthesia and lying under the bright, operating room lights made me a little nervous, but as long as my surgeon was in charge, I knew I would be okay.
My confidence in [my doctor] and his unwavering positive attitude helped me treat this as just another obstacle to overcome.
I trusted him so much more than I had trusted other doctors in the past. My confidence in him and his unwavering positive attitude helped me treat this as just another obstacle to overcome. I recovered quickly from surgery—my operation took place on a Monday, and by noon on Tuesday, I had my friend pick me up from the hospital.
After surgery, the tumor board suggested I have 30 days of radiation. But since I had such unabashed confidence that my surgeon had gotten all the cancer out, I didn’t want to go through with it. On countless doctor visits with my son for his hemophilia, he and I learned to be our own best advocates and to not just “sit there like a lobster!” While managing his chronic condition, we refused to be complacent when hearing advice we didn’t like—coining the term “constructive denial” to refer to it! In a similar vein, I decided not to undergo radiation therapy after my surgery. Thankfully, the PET scans and follow-up testing every six months have been clear, and I have been cancer-free ever since.
My son never said ‘why me’, only ‘why not me, I can handle it’. So I followed his lead.
When asked if my life, outlook, or priorities have changed as a result of this experience with cancer, my honest answer is that it changed long before it. My son passed away at age 36 and dealt with more hardships than you can imagine. Despite all his struggles, he never complained a day in his life and taught our whole family how to deal with anything that comes our way. We never made a habit of talking about our medical problems or letting them rule our lives.
So when I was diagnosed with cancer (both this time and with prostate cancer 24 years prior), it was embarrassing to even think about complaining. I didn’t want people asking me how I’m doing, or more importantly, worrying about me. My son never said “why me”, only “why not me, I can handle it”. So I followed his lead.
I couldn’t imagine going through this without the surgeon I had. However, while having good doctors is important, it’s even more important to take care of your health every single day. I’m almost 80 years old and still go to the gym six days a week. I spend 40 minutes every morning on the bike, before lifting weights and stretching. I lost 25 lbs before cancer (and because of surgery and an all-liquid diet, I lost another 10 lbs that needed to come off! Cancer doesn’t have to be all bad!).
My son was the gift that never stopped giving, and he changed the lives of everyone he touched, including mine. He still keeps me going throughout any hardships…
With respect to my cancer, I didn’t hem and haw about taking care of my health. I consider myself a “crazy problem-attacker,” and when doctors asked me why I had such a sense of urgency about having surgery, I told them I had to stick around to meet my grandkids. I always try to find the positive in everything and keep pushing. That’s exactly how I am; it has nothing to do with cancer. My grandkids call me “Mr. Rosy Glasses,” and I can assure you that I kept that title all throughout my journey with cancer. It’s hard to quantify the medical benefit of having a positive attitude, but for me, it works.
My advice is if you’re lucky enough to be vertical, keep yourself that way! You can’t get thrown by an unexpected attack if you’re constantly attacking! Additionally, I strongly believe that if you have a medical problem that has a beginning and an end, you are blessed! I am well aware that is not always the case, as it wasn’t with my son.
My son was the gift that never stopped giving, and he changed the lives of everyone he touched, including mine. He still keeps me going throughout any hardships that come my way. I feel fortunate that my medical problems had an end, and I’m lucky to have been able to tell Mr. Cancer: “don’t mess with me!”
Interested in Sharing Your Cancer Journey?
For someone recently diagnosed with cancer, reading the stories of other caregivers and survivors can inspire.
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