Stephen’s Cancer Journey
Discover Stephen’s inspiring story—a cancer survivor whose resilience & love for life saw him through a hard time. Learn how he found hope on his journey.
30 Stories in 30 Days™ // April 2023
In my 20s, doctors suspected that white patches in my mouth resulted from grinding my teeth while I slept. Eventually I was diagnosed with oral lichen planus, an inflammatory precancerous condition that manifests as swollen gums with white patches. I didn’t drink or smoke much and wasn’t that worried about it, but I found an oral surgeon at an esteemed hospital in New York City to monitor my condition long-term.
However, after about a decade, my gums started to bleed. I received a biopsy, which revealed oral squamous cell carcinoma. While many people diagnosed with cancer experience anger, frustration, or denial, I made peace with my diagnosis with the mindset that both good and bad things happen to everyone, and that I had to move forward and invest my energy in the right things. If we don’t find a way to transform our hurts, we can become cynical, negative, or bitter. We can also inadvertently transmit these negative emotions to others, especially those closest to us.
Before beginning treatments, I commissioned a company to generate a report on the cancer centers of excellence in the United States. I used that report to identify a well-regarded otolaryngologist in New York City who specialized in treating head and neck cancers. After meeting this otolaryngologist, my wife and I decided that we should work together for my treatment.
If we don’t find a way to transform our hurts, we can become cynical… We can also inadvertently transmit these negative emotions to… those closest to us.
In 2014, I received a diagnosis of mantle cell lymphoma. Going through chemotherapy and stem cell treatment for lymphoma made me extremely weak, and unfortunately my oral cancer recurred whenever I received chemotherapy. While it was difficult managing two cancers at once, my family, friends, faith, and access to great medical care motivated me to soldier on and not dwell on negative emotions.
I had immense trust in my surgical management team, which consisted of talented oral surgeons and otolaryngologists who worked well together. I am particularly grateful for my wife, who was the most amazing caregiver anyone could hope for. She quit working as a nurse to care for me during this tough time. I wasn’t sure I would make it through, but with her support, I stayed invested in my treatment and tried whatever I needed to get better.
This experience was incredibly humbling and changed my attitude, effectively waking me up in life. I felt that I was “falling upwards.” By this I mean that while I experienced hardships, I simultaneously grew into a person who appreciates what really matters in life and no longer fears death. Before being diagnosed with cancer, I invested most of my energy into my job as the head of an investment management firm on Wall Street. However, after going through cancer treatment, I have learned to live life more intentionally.
Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.
To this day, I still go to follow-up appointments for recurrent cancer; my most recent surgery was in early 2023. I have undergone at least 20 surgeries since being diagnosed with cancer, which involved multiple areas of my cheeks, gums, and vocal cords. While I have had a long journey involving not only surgery but also radiation, chemotherapy, stem cell transplantation, and CAR-T cell therapy, my newfound resilience and life values have helped me stay positive and take things as they come despite the many setbacks. Since my last surgery, I have struggled to gain weight, but I am gradually putting on pound by pound and swallowing more easily.
I now live in New Hampshire with my wife, where we enjoy a healthier, slower-paced lifestyle compared to our time in the NYC area. In addition to working full time, I have been able to spend more time on philanthropy, hiking, and cooking. At the age of 13, my mother taught me to cook French cuisine. When she passed away three years later, I prepared meals for my family which I continue to this day. In more recent years, I started taking cooking/culinary classes. My wife and I also rekindled our interest in land conservation and restoring old houses.
With every wound there is an opportunity for learning, healing and hope.
Although I cannot say with certainty that I am cancer free, I seek to enjoy the life I have, help others, and not feel overly apprehensive about what the future holds. No matter where you are in your cancer journey, remember that healing does not only refer to medical treatment. Invest your energy in healing your own mind and focus on the things that matter most.
During my cancer treatment, I came across a saying by the Roman philosopher Seneca that resonated with me: “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” In other words, good and bad things happen to everyone, but they don’t just happen because of random chance. What we perceive as luck is actually the result of our mindset and actions. While going through your cancer journey, try not to think of yourself as unlucky, or think that things are hopeless and cannot be changed. With every wound there is an opportunity for learning, healing and hope.
Interested in Sharing Your Cancer Journey?
For someone recently diagnosed with cancer, reading the stories of other caregivers and survivors can inspire.
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