Richard’s Cancer Journey
Discover a cancer survivor’s inspiring journey of resilience, overcoming challenges, and staying active during treatment. Read his uplifting story here!
30 Stories in 30 Days™ // April 2023
I first noticed a lump on my neck while at a local hospital board meeting in late September 2012. It was big enough that I thought I should have noticed it shaving that morning. The next day, I went to see my oral surgeon friend who suggested getting an MRI. A few days after the MRI I had a conversation with a radiologist friend. He suggested I go see an ENT who could confirm the likelihood of a relatively benign branchial cleft cyst which would need no treatment other than surgery to remove the cyst.
I got a biopsy at my initial appointment with the ENT and waited 2 weeks for the results. At the follow-up appointment, my doctor diagnosed me with squamous cell carcinoma and discussed cutting open the left side of my neck to take out all of the lymph nodes along with the primary tumor localized to my left tonsil. Stunned, I said that I needed a second opinion, and my doctor suggested I go see an ENT at another hospital in New York instead.
I decided to let myself have one final pity party to process negative emotions before moving on
I reached out to the doctor’s office and spoke with his assistant over the phone. Although both she and the doctor were currently on their way to a conference in Chicago, she acknowledged my anxiety over getting seen as soon as possible and was exceptionally reassuring. She promised that they would review my MRI scan on the plane and offered an appointment with the doctor for the following Sunday at his satellite office when they returned. I felt so grateful that they made time for me during a busy weekend. However, I ended up waiting until the following week to see the doctor in NYC.
During my first appointment with this new doctor, he assured me that I had nothing to worry about and that there was a 90 percent cure rate. I jokingly responded by asking, “but what about the other 10 percent?” However, the doctor’s confidence and expertise genuinely reduced my apprehension and I trusted him completely with my treatment.
I struggled the most during my cancer journey while recovering from surgery. After successful surgical resection of my neck tumor, I underwent 33 sessions of radiation therapy during a period of about 6 weeks. I lost about 30 pounds in a few weeks due to difficulty swallowing and eating. My medical team had suggested inserting a feeding tube to facilitate adequate nutrition, but I adamantly refused. I was afraid that it would mess up my abs!
Continuing to lead as normal a life as possible while leaning on the support of family and friends helped me get through tough times.
I vividly remember feeling the most vulnerable when eating pizza with my family one time. It was incredibly challenging to finish even just one slice of pizza, as I had difficulty swallowing and a lot of mucus in my throat. I felt so frustrated that I shed a few tears after my kids had left the table. While I felt sad when first starting radiation therapy, I decided to let myself have one final pity party to process negative emotions before moving on. I told myself that going through radiation was just a temporary thing I needed to do, and that I would be fine as long as I trusted the guidance of my doctors.
Once I changed my mindset, radiation therapy didn’t affect me too much. It wasn’t until I finally finished therapy and returned to normal that I realized how much I had overcome mentally and physically.
My voice is now permanently raspier than before, but I feel blessed to still communicate clearly with my own voice.
While going through cancer treatment and recovery, I tried my best to continue working and pursuing my hobbies. I, along with a friend (I had a pool of friends and family that would rotate to drive me back and forth for treatment so I could rest), would head to the city the night before treatment, stay at the Hope Lodge (a hotel for patients undergoing cancer treatment), do my treatment in the morning, then drive back to Poughkeepsie (about 90 minutes from the hospital). I’m a dentist, so I still saw as many patients as I could and worked almost full-time hours.
I also love skiing and playing basketball. Although I had to stop skiing temporarily because radiation increased my sensitivity to cold, I could still play basketball. Continuing to lead as normal a life as possible while leaning on the support of family and friends helped me get through tough times. I also thought of my journey in terms of a football analogy, which was simply to take the ball, put your head down, and run with it until you come out the other side.
It is completely normal to feel negative emotions while going through something so challenging.
10 years have passed since I finished radiation, and my life has definitely changed in some fundamental ways. My unique position as a healthcare professional allowed me to share my experience with my dental patients and advise them. I ended up referring many of them to my ENT doctor and spreading the word about his non-profit organization! My voice is now permanently raspier than before, but I feel blessed to still communicate clearly with my own voice. I am happy to say that I still actively practice dentistry and ski on weekends!
It is completely normal to feel negative emotions while going through something so challenging, and you should allow yourself to feel and process those emotions. However, try not to ruminate on negative emotions, have faith in yourself, and focus on taking simple steps towards the future.
Interested in Sharing Your Cancer Journey?
For someone recently diagnosed with cancer, reading the stories of other caregivers and survivors can inspire.
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