Margaret’s Cancer Journey
Hear from Margaret on overcoming jaw cancer with patience and a solid support system. Discover her advice on staying strong and learn how she kept hope alive.
Margaret // 30 Stories Campaign™ // Oral Cancer Awareness
The word “cancer” has always been present in my life. In my family of six, which includes my father and three brothers, five of us have had cancer. So it was really no surprise for me to get diagnosed. I received my diagnosis for jaw cancer at the end of 2016. I went in one day for a cleaning at the dentist who saw something suspicious. He referred me to see an ENT, which marked the start of my journey.
My jaw cancer occupied most of my right side. The decayed bone in my jaw required a replacement. I underwent an intense flap surgery which would transfer bone from my left leg to my right jaw. This only provided temporary relief because shortly thereafter, the flap failed. To say I was devastated doesn’t do justice to how I felt. I was heartbroken after such a setback from a surgery I thought would fix me forever.
In urgent need of a remedy, I found another care team to help me. This time, I made sure to plan for the best outcome possible. I took baby steps. I stayed patient during my visits with my doctors. I asked more questions than I can remember, persistent to get multiple opinions on my treatment course. There were times where I said I would rather have two separate surgeries than one big one because it would just be too much for me.
Get Screened
Detecting cancer early can increase your chances of survival and decrease the overall cost of treatment. Perform a self screening, find free screenings near you or make an appointment with your healthcare provider or your family dentist. Not many people realize that their dentist is trained to look out for signs of cancer in your mouth.
You must be your best advocate because no one else will do it.
You don’t have to do everything in one go. You must be your best advocate because no one else will do it. Don’t hyper fixate on everything your doctors tell you and run to google only to lose your calm. Listen to your doctor, don’t listen to Google.
My doctors provided me with a greater understanding of my procedure, and I returned my trust to them. With their help, I created a treatment plan that I knew would work for me. I cannot stress enough the importance of this. As former military, I didn’t want to worry about the plan of action ten steps in the future, I just cared about the most immediate plan of attack. So when I finally got my team together the way I wanted, I had my doctors do everything in distinct timelines.
I don’t think people realize how lonely a hospital can feel even for just one night.
Eventually, bone from my right leg was sacrificed to save my jaw. I kept in mind from my prior surgery how disoriented I felt coming out of anesthesia. I had no one around that I knew nor could I recall what was going on, and I felt terrible. So this second time around, I planned to have a familiar face who I could recognize when I woke up.
I don’t think people realize how lonely a hospital can feel even for just one night. Or how exhausted your body remains after surgery. In the recovery stage, when visits with the doctors became more frequent—either weekly or monthly—it was crucial that I brought another set of eyes and ears with me to hear what I needed to hear in case my mind rejected it.
You have to have somebody there with you who will help you. You can go into the room with the doctors, and as soon as they say one bad thing, you won’t hear the rest of the conversation.
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No single instance during this experience made me feel truly strong. Rather, it was my whole journey with cancer that gave me fortitude.
I still remember having the highest anxiety when I would initially come to see the doctor. I would need medication just to keep from getting nauseous during my visits. However, now having known my team for years, I am incredibly comfortable with everyone. I haven’t even had to show them my ID in 6 years. That sense of belonging and warmth sustains my hope in my journey as I continue to improve my health.
My sense of belonging also comes from my support team of just five friends. Although they may seem few in number, they never fail to lift me up and fuel my inner strength. I still remember them at the beginning of my treatment admiring how strongly I carried myself. But at that stage, I didn’t see myself the way they saw me. And truthfully, I still fluctuate between feeling strong from enduring my cancer and just wanting my journey to end. No single instance during this experience made me feel truly strong. Rather, it was my whole journey with cancer that gave me fortitude.
In times of difficulty, I force myself to look inward… These were some of my greatest tools.
In times of difficulty, I force myself to look inwards and understand myself through my body, because my body knows me better than I know myself. I learned I needed to ground myself, which I achieved through meditation and finding spirituality. These were some of my greatest tools. They slowed down my pace of life at a time when I needed it most and made me grateful to enjoy what I have and the people around me.
Obviously, I wish I never got cancer, but as I slow down and think about it, I recognize that this disease treats every person differently. Instead of focusing on what cancer has taken from me, I focus on what I have and the blessings unique to me.
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For someone recently diagnosed with cancer, reading the stories of other caregivers and survivors can inspire.
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