Trish’s Cancer Journey

Trish // 30 Stories Campaign™ // Oral Cancer Awareness

In the heartwarming and courageous journey of Trish’s battle with cancer, we are given a multifaceted view through the eyes of several narrators, each offering a unique perspective on the struggle, recovery, and the immense power of support. 

Trish shares her own harrowing and inspirational experience, while John, her devoted husband and unwavering caregiver, provides insight into the challenges and triumphs of supporting a loved one through illness.

Trish

Back in March 2022, I became concerned about a sore in my mouth that had been there for a while. When I went to my routine dental cleaning appointment, the hygienist told me it was a canker sore that would go away. It eventually became a healed scar tissue bump, and I forgot about it. About 4 months later, I noticed it again—it had started to hurt. The area around the scar tissue had opened up. 

Given a sore in the mouth heals pretty quickly, it seemed unusual. When I visited my dentist, he was concerned. I was in the oral surgeon’s office 45 minutes later. The doctor took out the whole canker sore for a biopsy, and I walked out of the office with 10 stitches. Two weeks later, the biopsy came back as oral squamous cell carcinoma. My oral surgeon referred me to another surgeon, my current doctor, and I knew I was in good hands.

In August, I got a PET scan, and my doctor was optimistic the cancer had not spread. He would have to operate on it, but he explained to me it could go two ways: it could be a simple surgery where he could go in and clean up the biopsy to ensure my cancer margins were clear or he might have to go into my neck to take out some lymph nodes. The surgery was expected to be between one and two hours.

My husband, John, helped me practice walking, and he pushed me to walk one more yard further every day.

The surgery turned into a five-and-a-half-hour procedure. My doctor explained to me and my husband that he took out 15 lymph nodes. If he hadn’t been as thorough as he was, this cancer journey would have been a completely different story and outcome.

We plotted the course for chemoradiation (6 chemo sessions and 33 days of radiation). I experienced a lot of difficulty with radiation treatment. I stopped eating and lost a lot of weight. The hardest part, though, was my recovery and rehabilitation after the treatment. The jaw exercises to mobilize my mouth were difficult with the scar tissue. On top of that, I suffered from muscle atrophy because I stopped doing physical activities. 

I got to the point where I could not walk to the mailbox. My husband, John, helped me practice walking, and he pushed me to walk one more yard further every day. I teach, so I returned to school after my treatment because it was the middle of the school year. My life for the next several months consisted of just work and home. I could only start thinking about resuming normal social activities many months after my treatment was over.

John

The psychological damage of the radiation was most taxing and prevented her from getting better.

Trish would come home from school after teaching and be asleep on the couch by 4 o’clock. She was weak and exhausted all the time. The psychological damage of the radiation was most taxing and prevented her from getting better. Her face was half burned off, so she did not want to see people and always wore these big scarves and sunglasses. Her depression kept her from making more progress and taking control of her health.

When summer rolled around and Trish was on break, I reached out to Julie, my physical trainer. I hoped to get Trish out of the house and try to put her in the back of her workout class. I knew if she committed to this high-energy and crowded class, it was going to be a big step.

Trish

Julie suggested that I come in for a session, even just to walk on the treadmill. She reassured me, if it made me more comfortable, I would not have to talk or interact with her. I could just watch Netflix. If it were up to me, I would have never left the house. But because of John and Julie, I felt safe to challenge myself and take one of her workout classes.

Julie

John is an integral part of the workout facility where I work, so all the coaches and I were well aware of the challenges he and Trish were facing. I repeatedly told John to bring Trish in. I wanted her to meet and talk to people again. Most importantly, I wanted her to be healthy and active. I had met Trish for the first time around the time she was diagnosed, so when John brought her in again, I was taken aback. She was not the same person I had met the summer before.

John

The first class was amazing to watch. When Trish walked in, Julie knew exactly what to do. Julie seemed to understand where Trish was on her journey. She understood how ashamed Trish felt, and she knew how to give her the confidence she needed by pulling her up to the front of the class.

Trish

John and Julie planned many things behind my back to get me out of the house and moving. There were a lot of texts, phone calls, and conversations about planning my recovery. Now I’m lifting more weight than before my cancer.

John

If Julie said it was okay, it was going to be okay. Julie looked out for Trish from the kindness of her heart. Every day for three months, Julie would track Trish’s eating habits, sleeping habits, and overall well-being without being asked to do so. She would write an exercise program that was tailored for Trish, separate from the rest of the class. If it were not for her empathy and meticulous care, Trish’s journey to recovery would have looked completely different. Julie is a miracle worker.

I will also never forget how Julie took care of Trish when the workout classes got too emotional for her. One day, Trish broke down crying. She couldn’t step on a stepping box that was three inches tall, but Julie was right there with her. They sat forehead to forehead away from the rest of the class. Like magic, Trish was back at it again within minutes.

Julie

You can feel defeated when you realize your body can’t do what it used to do easily only months ago.

You can feel defeated when you realize your body can’t do what it used to do easily only months ago. When I feel anxious and overwhelmed, I use the mantra “inhale calm through your nose, exhale stress through your mouth.” I guided Trish through the same thing. The laugh soon returned. When I handed the weight to her, she was back at it. What I want to highlight is that this was Trish all along. Whenever I feel uninspired and unmotivated, I remind myself of Trish’s willpower, and I power through the day.

Trish

Julie struck this beautiful balance between pushing me and caring for me. There was another time when I broke down in the middle of a workout, because I was emotionally triggered. For context, the workout class is very stimulating with loud music and bright, strobing lights. I was overwhelmed by the green strobe lights—they reminded me of the green lights from the radiation machine. Julie was at my side when it happened, and she adjusted the lights for every single class going forward just to accommodate me.

John

When Julie had a party over the summer, she invited us. A party was the furthest thing from what Trish wanted, but Julie insisted I bring her. Trish went out, got a dress, put on make-up, and put herself out there. It was the first time since her diagnosis she interacted with other people for the sake of socializing. In just one summer, Trish went from not wanting to see anyone to dancing in a workout class with a bunch of people.

Julie

I saw what Trish went through, and I have a family member going through something similar. Based on these experiences, remember to have faith that you are going to come out the other side stronger. Trish is living evidence of it. Keep showing up every day, for yourself and others.

John

As a caregiver, I think it’s important to find your sanctuary—a place to go that is not “all cancer.” For me, that was my time with Julie and the community at the gym. In terms of how to navigate caregiving, write everything down. The person receiving the diagnosis will not remember anything, and you will likely remember only half of it if you are lucky. 

Finally, make sure you give all your care with dignity. When I gave Trish pills, I gave them to her in a china bowl. I just did not want her to take them from a paper cup. When she went for treatment, I color-coordinated her outfit for her. There were times when it was so challenging that it was impossible to have dignity. The only thing that could be done was to face it, embrace it, and move past it. 

Trish

Cancer can be very lonely. I was in a place where I could not take care of myself. So John rose to the challenge.

My advice for anyone else traveling this journey is to keep loved ones close and lean into their love and care because cancer can be very lonely. I was in a place where I could not take care of myself. So John rose to the challenge. He monitored all my medications, arranged all my doctor’s appointments, took me to radiation every day for a month, bathed me, and took care of our 15-year-old daughter at the same time. 

Also, rely on a support system outside of your immediate family. During my recovery, I almost needed someone to do it for because I lacked trust in myself and my body. John would tell me Julie was waiting for me, and that’s the only reason I showed up. I trusted I was in a place with the people I was supposed to be with.