Should You Inform Your Child’s School of a Cancer Diagnosis?
For kids, school can be an escape, as well as a source of anxiety. Find out if, when and how you should tell your child’s school about a cancer diagnosis.
Making the Decision to Tell Your Child’s School About a Diagnosis
School can be a supportive environment for children, but it can sometimes also be a space that causes anxiety. Children may appreciate the escape to the “normal” routines of classes and coursework that school can offer. But a loved one’s cancer diagnosis may also cause a child to feel different, and unsure of how to answer questions from their peers. Talk with your child to determine what they would like to share, who they want to share information with, and how to share that information!
If a cancer diagnosis affects a caregiver’s ability to keep their child’s routine consistent, the caregiver may want to consider sharing their diagnosis with the school. When teachers are informed, they can be more intuitive and sensitive to changes in a child’s behaviors, like a decrease in attention and activity or sudden emotional outbursts.
Caregivers of Young Children
Young children may have a difficult time keeping family information private. They may replicate family information in their play, art, and storytelling. Identifying what to share and what to keep private will help a young child understand what is okay to share about themselves and help to normalize their experience.
To prevent a child from becoming overwhelmed by their classmate’s curiosity, talk to teachers about signs of stress to watch out for, how to respond in such situations, and how to field the questions of other students. The school becomes a safe space for children to be themselves when children feel they are supported by their teachers.
Suggestions for Teachers & Administrators
- Provide opportunities for children to share their experiences through play.
- Add medical equipment to dramatic play spaces (stethoscopes, thermometer, blood pressure cuff).
- Encourage acceptance of children’s stories or artwork that may have themes of illness, loss, and change.
- Children may have unexpected emotional outbursts. Support them with understanding and compassion. Identify, validate and comfort them in these moments.
Caregivers of Middle Childhood & Adolescents
School can be a place for children to escape from the stress and pressure caused by a loved one’s illness. However, school is often where students want to fit in with their peers. Having a loved one with cancer can make a student feel different from others. Older children may not want to share what is happening at home with the school.
Discuss with older children and teens how much they are comfortable sharing and who they want to share with. Having a confidant and support system to turn to at school, whether it be a principal, teacher, guidance counselor, nurse or coach, can alleviate the pressure of keeping a secret. Discuss why it’s important that someone at the school knows what is going on at home.
Once you and your teen decide together who should know, ask if your child wants to be part of the discussion when telling school personnel. Giving adolescents some control about who and what the school should know demonstrates that a caregiver understands their child’s need for autonomy, but is also there to provide gentle guidance on a topic that affects them all.
Suggestions for Teachers & Administrators
Getting assignments done on time may become challenging depending on additional roles and responsibilities the tween/teen may need to take on at home. Be understanding of missing or late assignments but also set an expectation of when the tween/teen might complete the assignment.
A change in the student’s grades and behavior (like self isolation), may be signs of extreme stress. Contact the parents immediately.
Show concern by asking how a student is doing or telling them you are available to talk if they need to. Try not to pry or push a student into sharing something about their experience. Let them know the resources that are available at the school if they need them (school nurse, guidance counselor or school counselor).
Tour our Faces of Courage
Read real stories from real people who have journeyed down a similar path.
Hey, Wait!
Subscribe to our newsletter and never miss our latest news and promotions.
newsletter
Hey, Wait!
Subscribe to our newsletter and never miss our latest news and promotions.
newsletter
